May 2013
biologytextbook:
*presses clear button on calculator 12 times*
starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
night before school: i want to look attractive tomorrow
morning of school: nevermind
zarry:
yes hello 911 we have an emergency harry styles did the thing
“I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.”
– Uma Thurman (via landlockedmermaid)
andrewbreitel:
reblog if ur a fuckin piece of shit
rupindre:
foreveralone-lyguy:
rupindre:
My dad has 84 pairs of socks
why did you count the amount of pairs of socks that your dad has
I didn’t count, he did, then he came downstairs and announced it to the entire family
chickensandwich:
when i have tons of money i will still buy cheap clothes because then i can have 100 articles of clothing for the price of 1 really expensive designer item and i will have a lot of money left for food
ostracizedpoodle:
am i the only one who doesn’t have a tumblr
genocidercyo:
clockey:
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
bellatirx:
do you ever like a celebrity so much you actually get jealous when other people say they like them
nointerrruption:
oh my god but could you imagine harry going to parents day at preschool and having to fit his huge body in those tiny plastic chairs as he sits next to his child helping them color and write their name and he’d probably let all the little kids put stickers all over his body and in his hair and it might hurt to take them off but he wouldn’t mind ;_;
pleasestyles:
like how am i supposed to just go on with my life after seeing these pictures of harry topless while holding a child i just can’t
me at school
me: the fuck is this
me: who the fuck are you
me: dayum pull yo skirt down please
me: walk faster fuckface
me: fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
me: no you're a whore
me: dont touch me i have more followers than you
me: i wonder what would happen if a guy with a gun came in right now
me: pew pew nigga
me: i'd push you in front of me whore
grymshaw:
i recognize and fully admit that i’m addicted to the internet but considering i could be addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex i think i did pretty good ok
cockringtoss:
why isn’t a group of kangaroos called a kangacrew
yugoslavic:
i had no idea this site cost 1.1 billion i bet its because of my blog
ponchopeligroso:
every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes
njena:
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
android18:
meanwhile at tumblr headquarters
cliterallysame:
when unfollowers are instantly replaced
